A Long Week
by XBlue-PhoenixX
Summary: It started out as strange jobs, than new and wondrous feeling, and incredibly stranger situations. Now can our intrepid duo survive the harshest challenge yet? The mountain. Come along on their latest adventure. KM
1. Madame Fat I mean hun?

I don't own Noir so don't sue me please.

Authors Note: First Noir fic. So give me an idea of how you like it.

A Long Week

By: Heart Attack

Inside a small café on the outskirts of town a slightly over weight woman sat in her old wooden chair sipping her steaming tea listening to some soft music. Yeah right, this chick was freaking massive, the size of a whale is putting it nicely. She had some how managed to squeeze her huge back side into a chair and was slurping down some tea, or was it slop, that is beside the point. Wait what is the point anyway, never mind. So she was sitting there slurping down her tea from a jug spilling most of it down her gritty stained sundress that was tearing at the seams and was showing off things that are better off still hidden in a dark dank box, her coffin. As she continued to accumulate pounds the chair in which the bus she called a butt resided in gave in and her massive load hit the ground with more force then an atom bomb. The shock waves shattered glass for miles around. As the ground finally stopped shaking a car pulled up. Out stepped our two favorite assains sunglasses shielding their faces from the hideous sunlight that scorched their pale skin.

" That is our target, Madame Fat, I mean Fredrick. Our client was crushed by her when she failed to check her rear view mirrors before sitting down." Mireille said shading her face from the sun light to her pale Asian companion. Kirika Yuumura was wondering wither the bullets would penetrate far enough to be lethal. Madame Fredrick had a lot of protective fat over her vitals.

" Well let's go do this while the place is empty shall we" Mireille said walking into the café. As they enter dramatic music starts to play.

" Kirika turn the music off I can't focus." Mireille said ripping the small CD Player out of her hands and smashing it. The noise got Madame Fredrick's attention, she lowered the jug and shifted her huge five-chinned face to face them. God was she fat, wait I already made that clear.

" What do you want?" she asked her body giggling with every word, her breathing labored.

" It doesn't matter who we are." Mireille said to her pulling out her gun.

"I see, you have come to kill me have you" she said smirking a sickeningly fat smirk. Using the wall as leverage she heaves herself up and huffs, she smirks once more then throws herself at them rolling at them at lightening speed. Kirika barely managed to escape her fatty wrath however Mireille wasn't so lucky. Her lower body was being crushed by the enormous weight crashing down on her.

" Mireille!" Kirika screamed avoiding a ham of a hand as it swatted at her. Sending a round of bullets into Madame Fredrick her worst nightmare came true. The bullets had no effect on her. Side stepping another attack she jumps onto the behemoths back and climbs up her back to her head.

" What the heck are you doing?" she bellowed thrashing about wildly. Kirika who was currently holding for dear life, took off her sunglasses with one hand and shoved them down Madame Fredrick's throat. Gurgling noises could be heard as the thrashing slowly stopped. She had finally suffocated and her dead weight lies on Mireille's lower body.

" Get me out of here!" Mireille said through gritted teeth. The blood flow to her legs had been cut off for a while now. Grabbing a chair Kirika uses it to lift enough fat for Mireille to crawl out. Helping her stand they walk out to the car.

" Can you still drive?" Kirika asks uncertain if her blond friend could.

" Yes, lets get out here she already is beginning to smell." Mireille said getting to car and driving off. " Why do you always use your sunglasses, those were expensive too." She said as she drives home. They only lived about a half an hour away from where their target was.

" Sorry, I will try not use those to kill any more, I guess I'll go back to forks." Kirika said thinking about their friend or person who they know but Mireille never really liked. After the Manor Chloe went into the fork business and has be generously giving them forks, lots and lots of forks.

" No, I mean I don't care as long we don't need to contact her about anything. Sunglasses are fine." Mireille said still bitter about Chloe almost killing her.

" Okay Mireille." Kirika said knowing to test her luck. Being squashed by a five hundred pound ugly chick wasn't her idea of fun either. 'But maybe being crushed by a small Asian chick was Mireille's idea of, wait did I just think that. Bad Kirika, bad girl. Yes very _bad_ girl. Wait I have to think about something else, like um, I don't know of anything else to think about, wait what about colors. Yes colors, like blue and green and blond and blond and even more blond. Dang it there I go again, what is wrong with me!' she mentally screamed shaking her head.

" You okay Kirika, you don't look so good." Mireille asked turning to her flustered friend. ' God she looks good even when she is sick. So good, stop it. I shouldn't even have thoughts like that let alone about Kirika.' Mireille scolded herself.

" I am just a little tired that's all." She said calming down a bit her empty mask back in place.

' This is going to be a long week' they both thought turning to look out of their windows.

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Author's Note: if you like it then review it please. Press the button it is not that hard. Come on here let me help you press it. There see it is that simple.


	2. Home Sweet? FORK

A Long Week

By: Heart Attack

Disclaimer: I don't own Noir, so you don't sue.

Authors Note: Thanks very much for the kind reviews. I know my style is a little different but hey it isn't that bad. Thanks to the following people for reviewing; Smoky, Mai, Cavalyn, Zulu the Preacher, teken, Machiavellism, Baka Gajin30, Johnny H. makingtea. You have no idea how much those meant to me. Please enjoy this thrilling chapter of ' A Long Week'

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Their car came to a halt and they stepped into the orange glow of dusk. Mireille was still a little weak on her feet so Kirika helped her up the stairs as they head to their apartment. As they approach the door they saw something was wrong. Splitting up they take either side of the doorway while pulling out their guns. Looking at Mireille Kirika nods her head and spins around kicking the door open.

" Why hello, lovely evening isn't it." Chloe said from the tea table. Waving Mireille in Kirika slips her gun back into her pocket. As Mireille walks in her face is screwed up in very mild disgust, opps did I say mild, ha ha ha, yeah right. She was giving her the dirtiest dirty look one could give without killing the person even though she was probable trying to kill her any ways.

" What are you doing here?" she asks venom clearly evident in her voice.

" I thought I would drop by for a visit, to catch up." Chloe said giving Mireille a sickly sweet smile. They both had clear hate for each other that was so intense it made the surface of the sun seem like the Artic during winter.

" I am going to go make some tea, um, yeah," Kirika said backing slowly into the kitchen, the tension was so thick you cut it with an unsharpened pencil. As soon as Kirika was out of sight the two charged each other trying their best to be quiet as to not alarm Kirika.

" Why you stupid _bleep_." Chloe whispered as she tugged at Mireille's hair.

" What did you call you ugly _bleep_," Mireille hissed scratching at Chloe's face. They tumbled to floor slapping each other and biting as Kirika came back in with the tea.

" What are you two doing?" she asks tea trembling in her hands face unreadable.

" Kirika, it's not what you think" Mireille started untangling herself from Chloe who was still in shock sprawled across the floor business suit showing from underneath her cloak. Putting down the tea Kirika turns around and exits the room with another word.

" Do you think she is mad?" Chloe asks getting up again. Turning slowly a dark aura surrounds Mireille as she opens up her window and throws a kicking and screaming Chloe out the window. Closing it she turns and walks over to where Kirika sat on her bed cleaning her gun.

" Where is Chloe?" she asks quietly putting down the barrel of her gun.

" Oh don't worry I showed her out." Mireille said snickering evilly.

" Pfft, why you two looked awfully cozy." She said looking back down to her gun her face shadowing a little.

" I told you it wasn't like that. We where fighting over… I mean we where just fighting" Mireille said still unsure what they where fighting over. But was that jealousy she detected in Kirika. After hearing this Kirika's face lightened up again.

' Maybe I won't kill Chloe tonight, and I was looking forward to being able use the forks again.' Kirika thought to herself with a sigh.

" You weren't jealous where you" Mireille asked a smirk playing on her lips.

" Yes, I mean no, I mean hun?" Kirika stammered her tongue tied in a massive knot a blush plastered all over her face.

" You where jealous weren't you." Mireille said her smirk transformed into a look of pure shock. Then an idea popped into her mind, the rather perverted side of her mind that is. " Oh would you prefer that I did that with you." She said her voice seductive and sweet.

" Are you okay Mireille?" Kirika asked as she slowly backed away from Mireille who was fastly approaching from the other side of the bed.

" I am just fine, but I am going to be better soon." She said slinking her way over Kirika who was still backing away from Mireille. Finally she had gone as far as she could go, she had backed into the wall and the only way off the bed was to go through Mireille. Mireille licked her lips sub-concisely.

" Trust me Kirika, I know you want this," she whisper in her ear her hot breath tickling Kirika who couldn't suppress a moan that formed in her throat.

" I don't know I mean mmmm…." She was cut off as Mireille brought her hand up her shirt teasing her, running her hand over her chest.

" What where you saying now," Mireille laughed covering Kirika's mouth with her own muffling her reply.

Kirika was having a hard time following what was happening here. Last time she checked Mireille's hand had been up her shirt and now she felt a pair moist, lust lips press against her own gently but firmly. Letting another moan she felt Mireille's hand slide out of her shirt and kneed her inner thigh.

" Wow" was all she could manage to gasp as the broke the kiss for some needed air. Turning to face her Asian friend Mireille smiled warmly and cupped Kirika's face in her hand.

" So what where you saying now." She asked in a low sexy voice.

" Nothing," she replied with a small smile. Outside thier window Chloe was hanging on to the gutter.

" Can I get some help here! _Please!_

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A/N: So tell me was it good? Bad? Please review sorry for the wait. Next chapter,

"Slugs are Gross!"


	3. Slugs are Gross

A Long Week

By: Heart Attack

A/N: I am so happy! I can't believe how many reviews I got with only two chapters, thank you all very much. I will try my best to up-date more often but school starts Monday so I have to slow down a bit. Please feel free to e-mail me and ask any questions you may have. Feed back and ideas for strange jobs are always welcome.

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It was a sunny morning, peaceful and calm. Kirika awoke to the sound of birds and Mirelle's not so soft snoring. Careful not wake her partner in crime and um… things, yeah _things _she slid off the bed and headed towards the kitchen. Her bare feet padding against the floor quietly when she stepped onto something cool and slimy. A squeak that sounded a lot like a rubber ducky you might find in a bathroom followed.

" What was that?" she asked herself quietly picking-up her foot, on the bottom of it was a slug, a very pink slug. ' Do slugs bleed too, hem,' she thought to herself as she continued to the kitchen watching where she was going this time. When she got into the kitchen she got out a pan to make pancakes. She turned around to look for some milk and found a yellow slug in the pan when she turned around.

" Slug, what are doing here, here you go," she said as she throw the slug out the window and watched it fly away, well in a bird's mouth anyways. She walked back into the kitchen to find even more multi-colored slugs crawling over the counters and pan. With a sigh she picked up a spork seeing as Mirelle throw away all the forks last night and started to stab like a crazed maniac, which she wasn't far from. Mirelle yawned and walked into the kitchen eyes half open where she saw Kirika stabbing slugs like a mad women.

" Morning," she said getting a cup of instant coffee. Kirika stopped her fight which she had codenamed Operation Slug Fest, spork above her head. Mirelle looked around for a moment sipping coffee. Slowly her eyes went from normal to large to omigod my girlfriend is having a slug killing spree in our kitchen large! Spewing out a mouth full of coffee all over Kirika she let out a high-pitched girly sqwell and crawled up onto the counter.

" Slimy, gross, icky, Slugs" she whimpered knees held to her chest. Whipping her eyes of the scolding hot coffee recently added to her attire, Kirika turned to face her cowering roommate.

" Mirelle, are you afraid of slugs?" she asked dropping her slimy spork. Carefully padding her way over to Mirelle she reached out and touched her shoulder gently. Mirelle nodded her head slowly, and clung to Kirika like a lost somewhat tall, slender body, hot fleshed, child. Wait, once again getting of the topic.

" Mirelle um could you let go, I kinda need to breath," Kirika gasped and Mirelle could have sworn that she heard, Not that I mind, but shrugged it off as her new section of her "Imagination". She slowly released Kirika and made a massive cute little puppy doggy face.

" So cute," Kirika said under her breath, a slight blush rising on her cheeks. She dropped her spork and fell to her knees, holding her self. " Too cute, I ….. I am drowning in cuteness!" she screamed looking around like a maniac, her eyes wide in fear her head spinning around as she continued to scream about the cuteness. Mirelle sat on the counter looking at her, her head weight down but massive sweat drops that kept appearing as Kirika started ranting about fluffy pink bunnies.

" Kirika," she said, " Kirika," she yelled this time but the small Asian keep on screaming, " KIRIKA!" she screamed at the top of her lungs swearing that they should of flown out of her body with the force she used. Kirika finally stopped and looked around for a moment.

" I am sorry Mirelle it is just I remember something about my past," she said her face the same mask it always is.

" Really, what did you remember?" Mirelle asked her eyebrow twitching.

" Altena had one eyebrow till she learned that you can wax them or pluck them," Kirika said her voice small and her face even worst then when she had thought she had killed Chloe.

" Really now," Mirelle said swallowing hard. ' I have to remember to hid my waxing kit better,' she thought to her self as she though about her beauty kit, which was hidden in her piles of make-up. ' Why God did you have to give me lots and lots of facial hair!' she mentally screamed calling him every four letter word in the book.

" Yes it was, most defiantly the most disturbing thing I have seen in my life," she said, the whole while they had been talking the slugs had been multiplying. Hopefully I wont have to go into those details for you all now. And lets just say that they had all formed one massive slug. And not only that but the slug was consuming or engulfing everything in sight. Kirika caught a glimpse of her gun going under it.

" NO," she lunged into the pile and reached for her sinking gun, but it was too late and she also was sinking into the growing slug.

" Kirika," Mirelle screamed as she tried to drag her out of pile but it was too late, she watched in matrix style as she missed Kirikas hand and fell flat on her face on the hot pan that was on the stove. Multicolors flashed before Kirika as she sank further into the beast. She opened her mouth to scream a really girly scream but got a mouth full of horny slugs instead. Spitting them out she felt her self come to a stop. The small enclosed space looked like a 70's house with bad taste. There even was a disco ball that was spinning. But that was nothing compared to what she saw next.

Chloe was doing the disco, in a pink jumper suit!

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A/N: so review and tell me how you like it. Sorry if the grammar bites. My beta reader is out of town. REVIEW ME PLEASE. That or watch Chloe disco either way I win.


	4. Stripe Karaoke

A Long Week

By: Heart Attach

A/N: I totally forgot to up-date this! I am so sorry, here is a double length chapter to make up for it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Noir, so please don't sue.

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Kirika looked on in horror as Chloe continued to dance in the small enclosed space. The walls flashed in different colors and terrible disco music was coming from somewhere. Then an ear shattering sound, like nails on a chalkboard, started to come out of Choles mouth. She was singing.

" Make it stop!"

Outside of the super sized slug, Mirelle was hiding underneath her pool table. Her legs shifted a bite and a yellow liquid started to pull around her. Looking down in a panic she shifted to her side.

" Stupid juice box," she muttered before she flung the crushed juice box away from herself. Mirelle jumped when she heard a loud _ping. _An Instant message showed up on her computer,

**Mr. Right: **want to save ur friend? Y/N

**Hott Blonde: **who is this?

**Mr. Right: **do u want to save ur friend? Y/N

**Hott Blonde: **Yes, who r u?

**Mr. Right: **I know how to save ur friend

**Hott Blonde: **how?

**Mr. Right: **come to 69 Trojan Street at midnight

**Mr. Right: **come alone

**Mr. Right: **and bring whipped cream

MR. Right signed off at 1:15 am 

Mirelle sat back and looked at the giant monster in her kitchen. Its was slimy, oh so slimy. She shivered just at the thought of what Kirika must be going through. She had no idea….

She clutched her head in pain and feel to knees. " Stop it……. Stop it please CHLOE!" her face was red as she screamed her lungs out. She screamed and screamed till she had no more breathe, and then she took a large breath and screamed some more. The disco ball above their heads cracked a little, and then broke into a million tiny pieces. Chloe turned around and saw Kirika. The shards of glass fell around her glistening in the light and Kirika seemed to glow like an angel.

Chloe slowly walked over to her and looked down, " Kirika?" and then poor Kirika made the worst decision she possible could have. She passed out…in front of Chloe…with no one else there. She was soooo screwed.

Mirelle walked through King Supers looking at the kinds of whipped cream they had, " Hmmm, plain or Strawberry?" she asked herself. She turned to one of the many employs, " Sir, which one do you recommend?" she asked pointing at the cool whip. "For what purposes miss?"

"Are you hitting on me?" she asked. " Maybe," they where on other sides of the cooling unit that held all the cool whip so he made his way around to help her like a good employ does. He turned the corner and looked down

Blooded started to spray out his nose like a hose " Oh my God!" Mirelle was still in her pajamas that where soaked by the juice box, a shirt and underwear. Luckily for his heart, she was wearing a pair of boxers. Why she owns boxers…nobody knows. Of course Kirika had known about that little fact. She never really cared to ask why. It would remain one of the many secrets in the world.

" Hmmm, I think I will buy…. this one," she smiled and plucked up a plain bucket. The young man nodded and fell over. "legs, hot sweet legs,"

Mirelle, now in some pants and a clean shirt, made her way to 69 Trojan street. That is a very weird street address, most people think of things when they hear 69, or Trojan for that matter.

When Kirika woke up the first thing she noticed was the heavy smell of candles and the darkness of the small room. Then came the fact she was sitting in a chair. Well, bounded to the chair with ropes and she was gagging on a strip of cloth. As her eyes adjusted to the dark surrounding she found Chloe sleeping next to her on the bed.

With a Kirika Plushy, in tight black leather.

"How did she get a hold of a Kirika Plushy? And even black leather for it, Chloe must have a lot of free time," she thought to herself, " Lets see, skirt check, underwear check, gun check, shirt check, bra…missing? Hmmm I wonder if I put it after we got done last night. I think I broke it. Oh well," she scanned the room looking for an escape path. On the far side of the room there was a door that was slightly open. She looked at the slumbering Chloe, hopping to the door. Sweat fell down her face and her breathing became heavier. Her chair moved slowly, inch by inch. Only two more hopes till freedom. Her eyes cast their gaze down to the floor as she hoped her final hop, and she hopped right onto a stray slug.

It was like a really bad old film, the chair legs flow into the air and she hit the ground with a squish disturbing Chloe from her light sleep.

" Kirika-pooo," she looked up from the bed and smiled, " naughty girls must be punished,"

" Mmm, mmmm, MMMMM," Kirika mumbled through the cloth as she wiggled and thrashed about her eyes wide in fear. An evil smirk came to Choles face as she sat the chair up right and toke off her gag.

But back outside of the sluggy domain, Mirelle was standing outside of 69 Trojan Street with the whipped cream in her hands. The big clock stroke twelve and she knocked on the door. Inside the house there was a loud crash followed a string of shouts and curses as an old lady throw the door open.

Mirelle had on a her really cool sunglasses, " I am looking for a Mr. Right," she asked casually holding out the whipped cream in a taunting manner, " I was told to meet him here."

" Oh, so you're the nice lady Jimmy was talking about. Come in, come in," she moved aside and ushered Mirelle. The furnishing was well…disturbing. Slugs, parcel slugs, wax slugs, real slug, all types of slugs where crawling all over the place. Mirelle fell backwards and landed on something wet.

Throwing the recently emptied box at the wall she screamed, " I hate juice boxes," and proceed to crush it with a slug statue. The old lady smiled and took the whipped cream over to a chair and disappeared into the kitchen. Mirelle looked around the place shivering in disgust when she finally saw him. Jimmy was tall, dark and handsome, but he was a pie with a big bite out of him.

" I see you met Jimmy. He was my sister's husband you know. She died just recently. He has been so lonely, and my sister left a big hole in his life. Fredrick was all he had in life," she sighed as flash backs entered her mind.

" Miss, could you please tell me how I could get a IM from a pie?" Mirelle's eye twitched as the old lady gentle covered the pie in her whipped cream.

" Oh, the IM wasn't from Jimmy," she said softly as she produced a knife from her pant pocket, " It was from me!" her where glowing red and in one shift move she cut open the pie. " I wanted someone to get eat this with, who better than the person who killed my fat, fatter tons sister of mine!"

Mirelle watched in horror as they kind old lady savagely attack the defenseless pie. It got so bad she had to even cover eyes.

" I think I will be going now…"

The old lady looked up from her primal feast, " oh, sorry dear. Try using some salt. My ham bone of a sister had a spy slug follow you and your little friend in a dim-witted attempt to get the slugs to kill you. Have a nice night. And here take home some pie," she handed her a slice of Jimmy.

Mirelle closed the door slowly and ran to her house, Kirika was running out of time. Had she only known the horrific events that had already been to put into motion. Dear God even the author of this fiction shuddered at this thought.

Chloe and Kirika were playing 70's stripe karaoke and Chloe was losing really badly.

" Chloe just give up already!" Kirika shouted as Chloe, clad only in her bra and underwear picked her next song.

" NO, I refuse to be beaten!" the funky beat started to flow from the old wood framed speakers and she started to sing with the voice that could make the Devil cry and drive God to drink.

A tumbleweed blow across the kitchen. In Mirelles hands she had two deadly weapons.

Salt Shakers.

" I am going to save you Kirika!" and she leap with the grace of a gazelle.

Sizzling and bubbled filled the place she attacked her enemy with salty revenge dashing a bit of salt of here or there. The inner walls started to melt away as Chloe finished the impossible song with a head splitting high note.

Kirika opened her eyes " Mirelle! Thank God! Mirelle, save me!" she yelled. An evil glint covered Mirelles face as she smiled and looked at the practically nude Chloe. She grabbed Chloe with inhuman strength and tossed her out the window.

Again.

Quickly turning to Kirika she undid the ropes and helped her to her feet. Kirika looked like she was on the brink of tears as she slide her arms around Mirelles waist and nuzzled her head into her neck, " Mirelle, I…I love you," it was just above a whisper. She felt Mirelles arms slide against her back and breathed in her scent, fresh cherries and lavender. A unique combination for a unique person.

Mirelles fingers made there way to Kirikas chin and lifted the smaller persons face. " Kirika, I love you too," and she lips gently caressed Kirikas in a sweet innocent kiss. When they finally broke apart Kirika smiled slightly.

" Do you want to go and do that again?" she asked giving her a small lift of the eyebrow. Mirelle laughed and nodded, " Sure why not, we can go feed the cats again. Just don't let them crawl all over you again. They totally ruined your bra last time," Mirelle laughed. They grabbed their coats and walked to the animal shelter a little ways down the street, ignoring the _Grape_ juice box that was on the floor.

As well as the overturned glass that had been full of orange juice.

Had you going there didn't I.

A/N: If you liked it then review. If you didn't like it than review and tell me how I can improve. REVIEW AT ALL COSTS


	5. A Promise Not Forgotten

A Long Week

By: Heart Attach

Disclaimer: I don't own Noir so please don't sue me

Authors Note: Lets see, 2 reviews and 106 hits. Something doesn't add up here. Oh well, after many reviews saying that they got confused along the end of the last chapter I give you the next not so confusing chapter of A Long Week.

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Kirika mumbled into her pillow and yawned. The last couple of days had been, well, lets see. Confusing. Yeah, very confusing. Sitting up she grabbed a near by towel and whipped off her face of all the drool on it. She had been having a very a good dream.

A very, very good dream.

Mirelle was hunched over her laptop reading something and sipping tea. It was a peaceful day so far. Too bad peace doesn't last forever.

Mirelle turned her eyes from the screen, " Kirika!" and quickly went to close the window. She stood up and poured Kirika a cup of tea before sitting down at the small table nervously. Kirika sat down and eyed Mirelle with her deep brown eyes.

" Mirelle, what is it?" she asked in her whisper, she reached out and took her hand in her own. Mirelle squeezed it affectionately before she turned to look out the window.

" We have another job,"

Kirika gazed right into Mirelles eyes, " Mirelle there is more to it than that. Tell me,"

Mirelle continued to gaze out the window, what she suddenly found so interesting we will never know, " It is a big job Kirika. If we can accomplish it, I can finally keep the promise I made to you so long ago, before Noir."

The younger woman's breath caught in her throat. That promise, the promise of all promises, the promise of death that was made so long ago when they had first met. How could she have forgotten that! She let herself get caught up in love and compassion! Salty tears brimmed her eyes.

" As long as it is by your hand Mirelle. If I have to die I would prefer it was you who kills me." Her voice was hoarse and strained but she refused to let the tears fall.

Mirelle squeezed her hand again, " I am sorry Kirika. I really am," but her gaze never turned to the young Asian girl before her, but if they had she would have seen a soft tear filled smile, a smile only someone who was truly happy could produce.

" Don't be. I know what I was getting into when we first met." She out her other hand on top of Mirelles. " So what is the job?"

Mirelle traced Kirikas hand with her fingers " Our target is a high ranking Soldat named Helen. She supposedly helped raise you and Chloe and if we are lucky she will know a way to trigger your memory. She lives in a small cottage up in the mountains. We will have to go there by foot, so be sure to pack efficiently and light."

She stopped for moment," We will leave tomorrow after breakfast and will reach the mountains base by train. By than it will be late evening so we will stay the night at a hotel before we begin our hike up the mountain." Mirelle said looking at her tea, not once had she looked Kirika in eye since she broke the news.

" Right, I will go pack." She left the table and went over to their dresser and began packing. They spent the rest of the day lounging about the house and went to bed early lying as far away from each other as possible.

Mirelle turned in again in the bed trying to get comfortable. Kirikas breathing had long since leveled out as she slept quietly besides her.

' It's hard to believe that we have come so far,' Mirelle thought as she looked over Kirikas childish face. Yet that face had matured a lot since they first met. ' I would have found it hard to believe that she could kill twenty men single handedly if I hadn't witnessed it myself and even than I couldn't quiet come to believe it.' She smiled as a piece of Kirikas hair tickled her nose.

' We have come to be a great team, you and I. We are Noir,' she tucked a strand of Kirikas hair behind her ear. ' I love you, but at the same time I know I shouldn't feel love. Our profession will not allow us to love. I cant help it though,'

She gazed at Kirika for the longest time trying to engrave every detail of her face into her memory. Kirika shifted and her pale lips parted slightly. She started to hum the melody the pocket watch played. Her face glowed a ghastly pale in the moonlight that shone in through the window as her soft innocent humming filled the air.

Mirelle froze as the haunting melody washed over her, images of her parents and brother filled her mind. Their blood was spilled all over the floor and all she could do was stare out in shock her eyes wide in fear.

Than it hit her like a load of bricks, or a truck going eighty miles per hour, or a plane crashing into her head. She ripped her eyes off of the sleeping angels face and curled into ball.

' A promise is a promise. I wont break my word. Kirika,' she felt tears slid down her face, ' I will kill you after all this is over,' and she fell asleep to the soft humming of her partner.

The train was pretty much empty, no one in their right mind up that early in the morning. Kirika was dressed in her infamous yellow shirt and blue vest, and even Mirelle had dressed within reason, in a pair of stylish cream pants and a fuzzy black sweater. The only other person in their car was a middle-aged man who had a terrible comb over. I mean it is like spreading a drop of butter over a mile of bread. It just doesn't work.

" I really hate comb overs," Mirelle leered standing up to go have a friendly chat with him. Fashion freaks can get pretty scary when they want to. Kirika grabbed Mirelles arm and fashioned it to the chair with a rope that she had stashed in her vest.

"What is that for!" Mirelle asked as she tried to undo the knot.

" Last time you tried to share your wisdom as you put it, you put three people in the hospital," Kirika reminded her. Mirelles face glowed bright red at the memory of Kirika having to pry her off a couple of ladies in a restaurant. They never allowed back into that place, a shame too. It had the best cake for miles around.

" Oh fine whatever." Mirelle grumbled and sat down. The man got up and chuckled nervously sweating like a pig, leaving big huge stains under his armpits and around his chest. He took out his handkerchief and whipped his brow, again and again. Than all these green smelly strings of odor started to omit off of him into the air causing Mirelle and Kirika to gasp for breath.

" Mirelle lets go to a different car, he is starting to smell," she pinched her nose shut. Mirelle who's eyes where watering nodded in agreement. Quickly undoing the knot they grabbed their luggage and ran into another car gasping for clean air.

" Dear god! I thought I was going to die!" Mirelle heaved as she sat down on the seat.

The speakers buzzed to life the next second, " Attention all passengers this is the conductor speaking. I am sorry but as of now I am hi-jacking this train. This will show my good for nothing (bleep) of a girlfriend. Don't try to stop me or I will shot your (bleeping) brains out." The train started to speed up and rock, " Oh and thank you for riding with Express have a nice day,"

" Mirelle, I think we are in trouble unless you know how to drive a train," Kirika said. Mirelle shot her the deer in the headlights look before the man from before came barreling into the car with a bomb in his hands.

" It is not fair! I was going to hi-jack this train!" he cried as he continued towards the conductors car.

" Kirika I don't think we are in trouble." Mirelle said calmly.

" I think we are screwed,"

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Authors Note: Okay folks here is the deal. You review and I will let you know if they survive the train ride or not. Yes I know this one was very serious but when they start up the mountain that is when it is going to get really messed up! I feel kind of bad for them actually. They have a lot in store.

REVIEW 


	6. Nut Houses and Squirrels

A Long Week

By: Heart Attach

Disclaimer: I don't own Noir so please don't sue me

Authors Note: All right people lets it get it started! I was hit by this idea and struck me like lightening! I hope it isn't too random for you and if it is…. you got the wrong URL buddy.

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The balding, middle age man turned to the two women and took out a handgun, " Don't do anything," than he quickly added, " please?" Dumbfounded Kirika and Mirelle nodded slowly. " Thank so very much ladies now if you excuse me I have a little issue to take care of with the conductor,"

The door slide shut behind him as he left the compartment in a hurry. Mirelle turned her head over to Kirika, " Should go stop them before they…"

BOOM! The entire train shock violently and the dull lights flickered. Kirika hit the ground at the sound and Mirelle stood up and whirled out her gun. Than a plum of black smoke and burning embers burst through the doorway and filled the compartment.

Sizzling hot air and ash scorched Mirelles throat as she choked out,

" Too late,"

The searing hot air swirled around the area creating a current of ash. Kirika reached up and grasped Mirelles wrist dragging Mirelle to the ground. She pointed up gesturing to something hidden by the thick black smoke, " The windows,"

Mirelle stared at Kirika for a moment, the explosion had rustled her normally uniform brown hair and she had ash smeared across her nose and cheeks like a solider would right before he goes into battle. She looked, how could you say it without sounding stupid, oh wait you can't. Cute. Little Kirika, her face all smeared up and her hair all ruffled, was cute.

The air grow even hotter and it became harder to breath. A fire was breaking out in the compartment eating up their oxygen. Kirika felt the floor of the train. It was heating up dangerously fast, if they don't get out there soon they are going to fry like eggs sunny side up and even though eggs are good sunny side up, it is very unlikely that humans are quit as appetizing. She watched Mirelle's face glaze over as if she was in some state of deep thought and than her cheeks become as bright as the fire that was breaking out. _She must be getting faint from lack of oxygen. We need to get out of here! _

Kirika waited a couple seconds for Mirelle to snap out of it. Five seconds, 10 seconds, 30 seconds went by. Kirika waved her hand in front of her face, no use. Snapped her fingers, nope. Slapped her in the face, nothing. _Something must be seriously wrong!_ With the speed equivalent of that of light she picked Mirelle up by her waist and slung her over her shoulder, grabbed the luggage and crashed open the window.

The next thing Mirelle felt was herself getting shoved onto a petite shoulder that must have had inhuman strength and the smell of fresh air, than weightlessness.

" Ahhhhhhhh!"

They both tumbled onto the ground still rolling form the momentum the train had given them. Kirika held onto Mirelle on instinct, unintentionally pulling them closer together. Much closer. Dirt, trees and stones went by them as they continued to roll, and roll, and roll some more till the ever so kind Mister Really Big Tree got in their way. Mirelle felt her body impact the trunk of the tree and small weight fly into her chest area before her vision went completely black.

Kirika grunted in pain and rubbed her aching face into the mound she was laying on top of. _Wow, this is really soft…_she smiled slightly and nuzzled it again. _And it even smells good. _Odd curves pressed against her body as she shifted into a more comfortable position. Finally her heavy brown eyes cracked open and her vision was filled with a fuzzy black sweater. Just like the one Mireille was wearing…

" Mireille!" The hairs on her head stood up prickly as that fact finally hit her, she rocketed off her friend and jumped five feet into the air clinging onto a tree limb for dear life like a frightened cat would. She watched for any signs of movement, nothing, only the steady rise and fall of her chest. Her loud and slightly girly scream hadn't woken her. Good. A good ten minutes passed until she finally let herself drop to the ground and slink over to Mireille.

" Mireille?" she whispered, nothing, " Mireille!" slightly louder, a slight twitch, " Mireille!" closer to yelling, Mireille turned to her side, " MIREILLE?" she blared it out as loudly as could her face mere millimeters away from Mireilles. Nothing.

" You have to get up Mireille," she nudged her a little with her hand, " Get up now!" Growling in agitation she took off her old leather boots. When I say old I don't mean like a couple months, no more like maybe a year or two and during those two years they had been through hell and high water and other very unpleasant things, the small strips of green gas escaping from them would be enough to get a hazardous material team out there to completely erase the boots very existence. Yes that's how old I mean.

Kirika took a really deep breath and slid the opening of the boot under Mireilles nose. One little sliver of gas belly danced its way into Mireilles nostril and disappeared into the depths of her nose Kirika quickly pulled the shoe back and backed away slowly. It was like watching a high speed stop light. Mireilles normally calm eyes shot open and her face went from seasick green, to oh my God I am going to die a virgin yellow and than finally to the Satan visited my face red.

Mireille gasped for breath, " Someone call 911! Someone dropped a biological bomb out here!" before scrambling behind Mister Really Big Tree. Kirika slipped her shoe back on before she ran over to Mireille who was fanning the air frantically with her hands. " Must purify AIR!" she screamed. Countless birds flow form their homes in the trees startled flying into each other. However what they did not know was that it wasn't the loud yelling that they had been doing that had scared them.

The train had been traveling down the tracks for several miles when its wheels started to separate for the track causing the train to run wildly through the forest. Sparks and parts flow into the air as it crashed through trees and boulders till the train came to cliff… and flow off it…right into a building in the middle of nowhere…that had a sign outside of it that posted clearly, Mountain Side Insane Asylum a.k.a Mountain Side Nut

House. Now if you add together a train, a cliff, and a nut house what do you get? Trouble.

Arms flying around like a lunatic Mireille ran around Mister Really Big Tree like a chicken might during the few seconds it is still alive after getting its head cut off. Round and round in little circles she goes, where she will stop nobody knows! Dear lordy I am having way too much fun with this.

" Bomb, bomb, bomb…. bomb," short pants of breath, " so tired," she wobbled for a second but managed to keep standing. Than a soft breeze, the softest a breeze could possible be, ran through the trees ruffling the leaves, and completely blow Mireille over. She waited for the impact with the ground but instead she fell into a pair of strong, thin, could possibly belong to an anorexic, pair of arms.

" Mireille are you okay?" Kirika asked standing her friend up right but never letting her go. Mireille was light as a feather, which must have made Kirika as light as well…. helium or something like that. Mireille finally caught her breath and stood up on her own.

" Thanks Kirika," she gave the short Asian girl a quick hug before whipping herself off. Slowly her eyes roamed the landscape. Beautiful trees and shrubs, clear blue skies, crystal clear water, animals…. where the hell are they!

" Where are my gray skies? Murky brown water? Lifeless streets?" she demanded with tears in her eyes. " Where are we?" the sun slowly rose higher above Mireille casting her in a glow of yellow light as she struck a dramatic pose with her hand on her forehead.

Kirika sweat dropped and looked around. It was a little different than what they where used to. It kind of looked a little like Japan when she was there. " Mireille maybe we should try to figure out where we are?" she asked walking over to her.

Mireille stopped her " Wait a second I am not done yet," she cleared her throat, "Where?" She screamed into the forest, " okay I am done now,"

Kirika reached into her bag pack and pulled out a GPS handheld device, " It looks like we are the northwest side of the mountain," she pressed a few buttons, " We can still get to the top of the mountain from here."

" Kirika?" Mireille looked over her shoulder, " What reference point is the GPS responding too?"

Kirikas face went blank and than started to glow a beat red. Her face grew so red that it could easily put a tomato to shame. " Chloe put a…. she put a tracking device on me," she whispered.

Mireille's face went into shadows again, " She did now did she? Well, we'll just have to have a little talk with her now wont we!" Her lips curled into a toothy grin and her grip on her gun tightened.

Shivers ran up and down Kirikas spin as she tried to imagine what Mireille could possible be thinking at that moment and what came to mind wasn't too pretty. Actually the only thoughts she could come up with included a rope and a torch, a very, very big torch.

" Mireille," she reached out and gently touched her shoulder. The evil smile disappeared and the evil shadow evaporated.

" Kirika," she caressed the smaller girls face, " Don't worry I wont hurt her." She smirked _I wont hurt her too much that is, _" I know that, she is special to you,"

" Mireille. I," a slender finger pressed against her lips.

" Its okay Kirika," she whispered, " Lets go okay?" she brought her hand back and started to walk north up the mountain. She didn't hear footsteps behind her and turned around to see Kirika standing still.

" Kirika?"

" Mireille," she smiled, " thank you." Mireille felt a small pang of guilt in her chest and tug on her heart. She walked back to Kirika and grabbed her hand.

" For what? Come on now silly we need to get going."

On the south side of the mountain however the nut house was slowly emptying as its occupants flooded the mountainside. Countless people, all of whom are messed up in the head big time, entered the world. The blue pajama like outfits the only thing that made them stick out like a sore thumb. As the retarded masses exited they freed their fellow psycho.

Inside one of the nice padded rooms a teenage boy rocked back and forth in the comfort of his straightjacket waiting patiently. Finally a faceless man opened the door for him and undid the latches on his jacket. From there the boy took off his muzzle and stood up and stretched his arms. He had fine blond hair and bright greens eyes that didn't seemed crazed in anyway. Slowly he walked out of the nice yellow room made of a spongy material and smiled. Now he did seemed crazed as his lips slowly curled around his blinding white teeth revealing pointy little teeth.

" To be or not to be. That is the question!" he laughed manically, his voice echoing in the halls. A mouse with the same blue outfit on that all the insane people had on stopped to laugh with him, and than they went to the kitchen to have a piece of cheese.

" Now my little friend, off into the world we go!" his sang out horridly as he dragged the mouse, now known as Mickey, behind him.

Mireille and Kirika had been walking for an hour up the grassy path. A cute little squirrel hopped onto the path and picked up an acorn. It gave then a chubby smile with its furry little face and smiled at them.

Mireille tried to advert her eyes. Sickeningly sweet warmth spread through her and female genetics started to arise. _No I cant awhhhh! I can't let myself…_ "Awwhhhhhh!" _God& stupid female genes!_

" Its cute isn't it Mireille," Kirika commented standing besides her. " I think I have a camera…" she started to dig through her bag. She whipped it out and pressed down on the button.

A hawk swooped down and ate the squirrel at that very moment.

" Lets move on shall we,"

They continued to march through the forest admiring the occasionally plant or animal. The sun soared high and the temperature began to rise. A lot. Soon they felt like they where being bake in an oven; the green plants like the vegetables that where being baked with in the dish and the little animals where like the little chunks of beef that swam around in the gravy with Kirika and Mireille the main course of roast beef. Kirika could imagine them setting inside the oven and baking to death. Not her favorite way to kill or die but, that's just her opinion.

Mireille's feet felt like they where on fire, no really! Her hair was so hot that you could fry an egg on it, and her pale skin was starting to turn a ting pink. _Now where did I pack the sunscreen? _She felt through all her pockets before producing a blue bottle.

She held it up and a spotlight shine on her. " Sunscreen, every pale persons skin care needs! Comes with moisturizer lotion and vitamin E! But there's more!"

" More?" a random crowd gathered around her, one of the little boys picking his nose.

" Yes more! It also comes with a mail in rebate and this handy dandy little key ring!" she held the key ring up.

" Oooooooo, Ahhhhhhhh!" the crowd gasped like idiots, cause well there are.

Kirika poked her head above everyone else. " Mireille how did all these people get here?" The spot light vanished and so did the people as Mireille looked at her as is she where insane.

" What people?"

" Never mind…"

" Well, that was odd." Mireille shrugged and put some sunscreen into her hands and started to rub some on her face. After she applied a thin layer on to all her exposed skin they started up again. Mireille scratched her nose out of boredom. They keep going and going and going and going, and no not like the bathroom I have to pee kind of going, more like the retarded Energizer Bunny. She rubbed her arms a little.

" When we get back to Parish I want to take a nice long shower." Mireille said itching her face. Kirika nodded showing that she was paying attention in her own kind of space cadet way. Unlike Mireille Kirika was Asian, well no duh she is Asian, so her skin was tanning instead burning to a crisp. No literally, do you know when you have a sunburn from hell and it starts to peel and it's all dry and flaky and then the skin underneath it is all gross and slimy because of the blood plasma, yeah well anyways she was just happy she didn't burn like some blonds and red heads do. She turned to sneak a look at Mireille and gasped.

" Mireille your face!" Kirika screamed.

" What?"

" It's it's," Kirika's mouth gaping open like a goldfishes.

Taking out her always-present hand mirror Mireille felt her face. It was bumpy and felt flush? " What the," She opened her mirror up and saw it.

Massive, grueling hives covered her face. Blotching everything up and making her look like a rip maraschino cherry. She looked down at her arms and saw the same thing. It was like was living, and breathing as it surged around. Was it crawling? Oh God!

They heard a twig snap and Kirika whirled out her gun. Mireille was too preoccupied crying about her face. Out of the bushes appeared a girl and a boy, both around six years old with a pair of blue pajamas on.

Lowering her gun Kirika gave them the ' I don't trust you so don't try anything!' look. " What are doing out here all alone?"

" Hi my name is Gretal!" said the little girl who was a little too happy.

" I am Hanzel," the boy muttered under his breath kicking the ground with his toes.

" And we are"

" Lost…." The little boy finished for her.

Mireille was still looking in the mirror with disbelief and crying like a baby. Kirika looked back and forth between the children and Mireille and decided. _They are more mature than she is…_

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Authors Note: Okay! I did it. I meant for this to not take so long and I think the humor is a little dry. I have ideas for the mountain but the dialog is being a tricky little bastard.


	7. Leech Impersonator

A Long Week

By: Heart Attach

Chapter 7: Leech Impersonator

Disclaimer: I do not own Noir or any thing affiliated with the show, however I do own the plot.

Authors Note: Wow, um opps… I kind of forgot to up-date. Well here you go.

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Mireille finally settled down enough to realize that they where in the company of a couple of children dressed in blue pajamas. If her face weren't already red as cherry or tomato or even a fire truck you would have been able to see the glowing blush that had risen to her cheeks.

"Lady, what is wrong with your face?" Gretal asked innocently reaching up to poke one of the hives. The hive with a mind of its own crawled away from the stubby little digit that was trying to poke it. _Evil little humans and their opposable thumbs, one day girly, one day! _It hissed to itself.

"Allergies." Hanzel spoke up. "Really bad, 'Don't leave home for the sake of the general public's eyesight' allergies!"

Kirika could see Mireille getting frustrated again and moved closer to her giving her raspberry hand a squeeze. Mireille took a deep breath and clenched her teeth. 'Stay calm, count to ten.'_ One, Two, Three. _

"I think you're right Hanzel! Geez lady, you look horrible. I have seen burns look better than that. You really ought to put some cream on that, or maybe a paper bag over you head…"

_Four, Five, SIX!_

"Or go and hide. I want to die, but not by your face!" Hanzel muttered darkly.

_SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE!_

"For once me and Hanzel agree on something. That your face is ugly!" Gretal giggled happily at her remark finding it funny only to herself. Mireille didn't find that remark too hilarious.

"TEN!" Mireille shouted reaching for her gun.

Kirika looked at the children in front of her back to her lover and mentally sighed. "Mireille, calm down now. Think about this reasonably. They aren't worth killing, there is no payment if we kill these two." She reasoned grabbing Mireille's wrist.

Grumbling Mireille lowered her gun to her side before replacing it in her jacket.

"You're scary lady," Gretal giggled again. What the hell was so funny, why is she such a…such a sorority girl! No offence I mean… Both assassins failed to notice the not so secretive glances Gretal was giving Kirika.

"We need help," Hanzel said, reluctantly seeing his sister wasn't going to be speaking soon, huge star like eyes burning a hole in Kirika's face. Yea, these two needed a lot of help.

Kirika brought her gaze to Hanzel, the more serious of the two twins Also the least creepy. "You are lost right?"

"Yea, that's what we just told you." He droned acting like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well, it kind of was but never mind.

"We can lead you to the trail that will take you to the main road, but that's the best we can do," Mireille huffed, starting to walk again. Kirika followed her partner silently wow is she quiet!

Gretal's face broke out in, no not hives, but a huge smile as she flung herself towards Kirika latching onto her leg. Kirika froze and frowned down at the million-watt smile that happened to be blinding her. She put on her sunglasses and shook her leg. Nope, she was still clinging. She shook it again with all her assassin, kung fu action strength but no. Than she grabbed the spatula from her bag pack and wedged it between her leg and Gretal's clinging body. With one mighty heave she slowly pried the small girl from her leg. 'Only Mireille can have that leg! Its her special leg, the one she…' BEEP!

Official Announcement: Due to the some graphic content in the follow and the T rating we cannot currently show the following text. Instead please enjoy some soothing music. This has been a public broadcasting announcement. Thank you for your cooperation!

'…that always tickles.' Kirika thought to herself getting a little hmm, excited. She heard another "Fling" and stumbled a little. She looked down at her leg again. 'Is it worth it?' she thought looking at the "L" bent spatula. 'No.'

So they walked along, well in Kirika's case half dragged half walked, up the side of the mountain. The sun started setting sending brilliant shades of purple, orange and red across the mountainside. Yes, the sun really does that if you can stand to look away from this screen and outside once and while.

"We should set up camp," Kirika commented watching the pretty colors. 'And here I thought you could only see so many colors while high.' She sighed.

Mireille nodded and scratched her arms, the hives had started to recede a little. They scouted the area, stopping only to run like chickens when they went into a cave that had a very sexually frustrated bear in it. Finally after a little mauling and hiding in a tree for an hour did they find a nice area to set up camp. By the time they had the fire stoked and everything set up Kirika had to pee, really badly. Not the "Oh I can hold it for a moment pee" I mean the "My eyes are floating in my head" kind, with the pee-pee dance and everything.

Gently nudging Gretal she asked, "I have to use the bathroom so could you please let me go?"

Gretal in all of her glorious innocence said drop dead serious, "No!"

Kirika crossed her legs again and bit her lip. Mireille was out getting more firewood, and asking Hanzel was like asking a rock to do algebra, just didn't work out. So five minutes later at their temporary "Loo" as Mireille liked to call it sat a very awkward Kirika with a very curious young girl.

"Kirika, why do you have hair there and I don't?"

Kirika frozen and blushed heavily, 'Good thing I am not on my period,' she thought to herself. Ohhhhhh, you did your math wrong young lady.

"OH my god! You're bleeding! Quick get a band-aid!" Gretal almost yelled.

Kirika winced and thought, 'More like get me a tampon,'

She took a deep breath, "You see when a little girl grows up certain things happen." Kirika started out.

" And that's what happens when you grow up. Want to hear where babies come from?" She asked a good twenty minutes later. The bubbly little ball of over zealous spunk for once had her mouth shut, shaking her head slowly side to side.

" Good, because I wasn't about to explain it to you." Kirika let out a sigh of relief. ' I think I scared her with the horrors of a period, than again those things scare me too and I am Noir…' she shuddered at her thoughts.

" I wonder what is taking Kirika so long. I hope she isn't constipated again." Mireille sighed as she ate her pre-packaged dinner pouch. "Poor girl doesn't agree well with fiber."

Speaking of the Devil, Kirika came walking into the campsite with a oddly pale and quiet Gretal still attached to her leg. She gave Kirika a questioning gaze indicating Gretal's strange behavior and Kirika answered in turn by showing Mireille a tampon. To make it simple, she got the point. Mireilles hives had gotten better, she had found some cream to help them, now they where few and spread apart and her skin tone was almost back to normal.

Spreading out a stained blanket for Hanzel to sleep on Kirika and her new attachment Gretal crawled into hers/their sleeping bag that was laid out very close to Mireille's. Kirika wrapped one arm around Mireilles sleeping bag covered form and rested her head on the blondes shoulder nuzzling into her slightly. Mireille drew her arm around Kirika and let her slender almost hive free fingers run though her dark hair.

"The stars are so pretty up here where the blinding lights that make Paris look beautiful aren't covering them up." Mireille whispered, her blue orbs reflecting the freckled sky. "Look at that set there!" she said point to a cluster of stars with her free hand.

Kirika followed her gaze and smiled, "It looks like a heart." They lay there looking at the heart in the sky, listening to the calming sound of each other's breathing. Than a streak went through the heart. A shooting star.

Mireille hugged Kirika tight, "Make a wish."

So Kirika did just that. She closed her eyes and wished with all her might. No she didn't make a selfish wish like "I want bigger boobs," or "let me become rich and famous". No quite the opposite in fact.

'I wish Mireille and I could live happily together for the rest of our days,'

" So you going to tell me what you wished for?" Mireille asked teasingly.

" I cant, or it wont some true," Kirika whispered back with a smile, staring straight into Mireilles eyes.

Brown eyes met blue breath mingled, and their lips met. They caressed each other as if they where a fine piece of crystal, a beautiful yet fragile wonder. Eyelids grow heave and soon they shut their eyes as they became blissfully lost in the kiss. It was soft, like an angel running its finger over their lips or a baby's sweet breath. When they parted Kirika placed a chaste kiss on Mireilles forehead and snuggled into the crock of her neck again.

Laura Bush sat on a nice patio on the outskirts of Paris with her husband George looking at the array of satellites that had formed a heart. She looked at her graying husband and sighed, 'Why am I still to married to him again?' she asked silently forcing a smile as her husband mispronounced Nuclear again.

Back at N.A.S.A however things weren't going to well. People where running around in a disorientated flurry of panic as the Space Shuttle Columbia Mark III started to descend on the wrong path. Again. The shuttle shot through the cluster of satellites and started to burn up, looking like a shooting star.

" Ugh, Houston we have a problem."

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Authors Note: Please review and give me any feedback you can think of. In the next exciting chapter of " A Long Week" you get to meet some new people! Goody is it a pajama party?


	8. Scary Old Ladies

A Long Week

By: Heart Attach

Chapter Eight: Scary Old Ladies

Authors Note: Between going to school at 7:00 and getting home at 6:00 p.m. and doing two hours of homework I have been trying to get this thing done. Really I have!

Disclaimer: I don't own Noir blah blah blah.

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Kirika and Mireille had woke up before the sun had even risen. No not because of their awesome assassin training, but because of the sound of circus music, again. This time however it was much louder and voices could be heard.

Kirika shot up and pulled her gun out of her bra. We all know that the bra is a holding facility it was just that Kirika used hers for a gun instead of a cell phone or the remote for the T.V.

Mireille shot up as well and wiped her drool-smeared face on her shirt before grabbing her gun out of her panties. We won't go into detail on the reason her gun was located there...

A group of shrubs shook, and out stumbled a little old lady. Kirika lowered her gun a little bit.

"My name is Xenon, princess warrior! I have come here to stop you reign of terror!" the little old lady croaked bring her hands up in fighting position.

"What isn't that the T.V. show with that butch?" Kirika asked.

"Kirika, look. She is wearing the same clothes as Hanzel and Gretal," Mireille pointed out the same pair of blue pajamas.

"Enough talk, now I will defeat you!" the old lady shouted. By this time Kirika was standing with Gretal still asleep attached to her leg.

"I do not want to hurt you lady so please stop before I am forced to," Kirika tried to reason. The idea of beating up an old hag was not appealing.

Kirika barley had to time to dodge the first attack! The old seemingly harmless lady shot at her like a bullet and throw a punch at her face.

'Oh no! She must be using the extra surface area of her wrinkles to gain solar power from the sun!' Kirika thought as she continued to dodge punch after punch.

"After I defeat you, I will take your woman as my sex slave!" the old lady shouted. We all know the song, 'to the depths of hells their black souls lure the lost children'. So the lady was not a child but that was not going to stop Kirika at this point.

Mireille sat there shell shocked. A sex slave to a seventy-year-old woman who probably had wrinkles in places that never see the light often. Nasty arm flab poking out of sheer lingerie, hairy mole above lip, wrinkles! The next image that came to mind was the lady as described above on a bed mentioning for Mireille with her finger, ropes and handcuffs littered around her.

Mireille turned over and heaved her dinner up. The meal actually tasted better the second time around. Then she proceeded to try and claw her eyes out.

Fuming mad Kirika grabbed Gretal by the arms and using the little girl as weapon she swung her into the old lady with all her might. The old hag went out like a light, but she had pissed Kirika off. Pissing Kirika off was not a very good idea if you value your life.

At this point Hanzel had woken because of all the commotion. "What the hell?"

Kirika, still using Gretal as a weapon, was bashing the poor passed out old lady into the ground.

"I knew that Kirika make almost anything into a lethal weapon, but this?" Mireille asked as she watched her partner beat the old hag bloody.

Hanzel sat down next to her and grabbed some of her popcorn Mireille had been using to get rid of the taste of vomit. "Well at least this is interesting."

After another half hour of beating the old lady into the ground Kirika dragged Gretal back the campsite and sat down. The loud circus music stopped.

"So what if for breakfast?"

On the road again, Kirika had Gretal slung over her shoulder and Hanzel trailing a few feet behind. Mireille watched the two out of the corner of her eyes. 'They both have that same space cadet look. I wonder what they are thinking about?'

Did she really want to know though. Let us check and see.

Kirika- You know, I wonder if Mireille wants kids. I mean she is not a cat person, and she boasts about being a people person. We could always adopt. Maybe we could take care of Hanzel and Gretal if they have no place to go!"

She defiantly did not want to hear about children. Or about Hanzel and Gretal. (Kids are number 6 on Top 10 Most Hated List, Hanzel and Gretal are quickly getting up to number 8)

Hanzel- God must of pulled this situation out of her big shiny ass. I get stuck with two lesbos, one of whom used my sister as a weapon to kill a old hag. If I got to see a little girl on girl action that would make this trip a lot better, but I highly doubt that the 'stick up ass' blond would let me watch, let alone live if I even asked to watch.

Now this was something that Mireille would have killed to hear. No, not as in want to hear very badly, but would have put a gun to the little boys head and shown him what his own brains looked like kill.

The little team finally came upon a road, were they shared heartfelt partings. Mireille kicked Hanzel in the butt, "Cheer up or kill yourself already. Okay?"

"Can I borrow your gun?"

Kirika grabbed it from Mireille who was handing it to the boy, "No, you should savor life, not take it!"

Okay. Kirika is a hypocrite. We all cannot be perfect can we?

Kirika laid Gretal next to Hanzel and turned to Mireille. "Is it okay to just leave them here, all alone with no one to look after them?"

"Yes," Mireille answered without pause. Geez, talk about being a ice queen.

For once Kirika did not know what to do. Was it right to just leave these two kids alone on a hardly trekked road? Hell no it was not! But Mireille is not looking too happy, and an unhappy Mireille means an unhappy Kirika. At this point Gretal was starting to rejoin the land of the living. Slowly she blinked at Mireille seeing long blond hair and blue eyes.

"Sailor Moon?"

"No," THWAK! Mireille knocked her upside the head and once again Gretal returned to dream land. Maybe all these hits to the head will make Gretal sane. Or maybe that is just really wishful thinking...

Kirika started to tear up, "Well I guess is good-bye," she walked over and gave Hanzel a bone crushing hug. Even though he was gasping for air, and could feel several ribs splinter under the immense pressure of the hug Hanzel was full, and _firmly _aware of Kirika's breasts in his face.

"Come on Kirika, there is still two days travel ahead of us," Mireille jesters towards the tall, ever annoying mountain.

As the two women walked off Hanzel felt uneasy. A little light headed, as if all his blood had drained to some other part of the body. Gretal, much to his disdain, was stirring.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT IN YOU PANTS?"

"A cucumber. Want some?" Hanzel took it out of his pants, it had shifted during their parting. He offered his sister the green long vegetable that makes pickles if picked to soon. As she reached out he pulled it away. "Just kidding."

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Authors Note: Well I have made some false promises. Sorry. This chapter had been sitting on my desktop for a while, but I could never get the story to load. Please, as always, REVIEW!


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